Will Blog for Sleep

First off, You're Welcome.  Because if I wasn't so tired/lazy, these ideas would already be in motion and you wouldn't have the opportunity to be in on the ground floor of such high reward potential.  My only request is a 5% cut of future earnings.  Deal? Battery Changer: I typically buy toys without batteries (per the photos above).  You may think it is because I am an amazing mother who encourages my children to use their imagination; not allowing the toy to create the fun for them.  Uh, yeah sure, that's it.   Hours of my life and strands of hair have gone missing due to dead toy batteries.    The first obstacle is finding a teeny tiny screwdriver to release the 6 (SIX!!) miniature screws holding in the batteries.  The second issue is keeping the bouncing child calm while they wait for their toy to rise from the ashes.  Once the minuscule tool is located and the batteries are revealed, only then do you realize issu...

Left: At the scene of the crime; Right: Celebrating Father of the Year Being a mother and a casual observer of the human race, it warrants me the right to shed light on the interesting public response to parents out and about with their children. A battle of Mothers vs. Fathers, if you will.   Thankfully it isn't actually a competition.  Because there is a clear "winner"....and it isn't me. Let's start with an the average bus ride experience.  As I board the bus, baby strapped to my front; toddler pushing his way through the sea of legs, it is business as usual.  No one notices my existence or offers a seat.  The only time an eye is lifted is if one (or both) of the children makes a scene.   And these once avoidant eyes now contain harsh scrutiny.  Most looks have a bonus "tsk-tsk" noise to accompany them.  I am so lucky to have the "village" there to help.  Now swap the mother with the father in the above scenario and...

As a continuation of Part I , below is the second half of signs you may have a toddler.  Based on my final score of 100%, we are neck deep in "toddler" at home: (5) You eat really healthy.  Until the kid is asleep. When my son is awake, we are incredibly healthy.  We sing songs about trying new and healthy foods.  We smile as we ingest carrots:  MMM...this is so good, you'll love it!    Then our son goes to bed.  Within seconds , ice cream is removed from the freezer, and/or Doritos sit out in the open, and/or cookies are finally released from their cupboard.  If I am honest with myself, the charade is 50% health and 50% selfish.  While I want him to avoid sugar, I also don't want to share.  Those Milano cookies ain't cheap. (6) Each day has a 75% chance of dancing And a 100% chance of singing.  When spontaneous dancing occurs, it is easily my favorite moment of the day.  Music not required.  "Dancing" is ...

Are you often singing a tune you wish you didn't know?  Perhaps someone is trying to convince you nap time is over (when it definitely is not)?  These are a few indicators you may have a toddler in your home.  Below are 4 of the top 8 signs our house is occupied by a toddler: (1) There is an upbeat, but irritating song in your head. Half the time it takes me until noon to even realize a toddler tune has been buzzing around in my head and to those nearby all morning.  Then reality sets in: this song won't stop reminding me of the joys of new foods ( Try it!  You'll like it! ) until a new, equally positive and repetitive song replaces it.  It's a never-ending cycle.   Somehow an Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song snuck into our home and now those squeaky verses about hoola-hoops are horrifyingly playing over and over in my head.  If you see me staring blankly ahead while at a busy crosswalk, I am most likely weighing the p...